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Автор
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Сообщение
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Genuine
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 5/5/2007 9:49:17 PM
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Greetings, Ladies.
I have been monitoring this forum for some time. I made some comments about 10 months ago but not since then. In the past 8 months, I have made 3 one week trips to Ukraine to find my soulmate. I am still single. Therefore, my views and opinions of the ease at which one does, or does not, find a wife in Ukrsine have changed considerably. This is unfortunate.
I had thought that finding a wife would have been much easier. I'm a handsome gentleman with a high paying job, a new house, 4 cars and a lot more than that too. But I found the Ukrainian ladies discerning but not knowing exactly what they want in a man. One of the 15 ladies summarized this way:
"Get a wife in America. Most girls here don't even know what they're looking for."
I'm telling you this for two reasons.
First, so you can know that some guys don't have much luck either. As I said above, I dated 15 ladies and most of them multiple times. I dated one of them 6 times. I estimate I went on 50 dates. I have spent over $24000 so far. The result? I may have a lady! Yes it's true. The best of them all... :)))
Second - dating in Ukraine isn't too much different than in America. There are only two real differences 1) a girl will get serious with a guy who is twice her age and 2) Ukrainian ladies do not like to be touched on the first, second, third... dates. I got in trouble a couple times with this one.
You may be thinking by now "You sex tourist! You went on 50 dates and didn't find a lady? How many girls did you violate?" I am proud to say, not any. I like sex as much as any guy but I didn't go to Ukraine 3 times for sex. I went for my soulmate. Which reminds me, ladies, a guy will make his goals apparent on the first date. If he requests sex, sex is why he's dating you. If he takes interest in you as a person, opens doors for you, helps you with your coat, helps you with your chair and does NOT request sex, he is interested in you as a person. I am this type of guy.
I have seen both the American and Ukrainian dating scenes and have some experience in both. So if anyone wants an educated opinion on any aspect, please let me know. Thanks!
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Klava
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5/6/2007 6:58:48 AM
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Hello Genuine !
I think the problems start from the beginning…
You and others who looking for wife in East use to say about yourself wrong way. Let me explain what I mean.
For men success means “to have” and “ to can”. And you all begin to present yourself from this point. It’s nothing wrong with it. But some times It looks like wife is only you do not “have “ yet…
For woman feelings and emotions is number one. Time is number two (beauty is temporary treasure) So if you touch her soul, you’ll get her and her's all. How to do it? The Love is not when two look to each other, the Love when they look to the same direction. And what direction are you going? Do you want to be a leader or equal partner?
About age…as for me I do not like to have relations with a man 5 years older than me. Younger is OK. Different generations … you know
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Bounty
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5/9/2007 7:56:31 AM
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to Klava,
Pohozhe, u tebya net problem s tvoim angliiskim, no boyus' u Genuine oni vozniknut. Shtamp pro to cho "...lyubov'--eto kogda smotryat v odnu storonu" ya tozhe uzhe davno slyshala; on mezhdu prochim sam ob etom tverdit: "soulmate"--eto i est' ta, kto smotrela by s nim v odnu storonu. I pisal Genuine syuda ne zatem chtob ot tebya notatsiyu polucit', a chtoby predlozhit' svoe mnenie, tem komu nuzhen sovet.
Hey Genuine!
YOu do sound like a real American gentleman. Thanks for offering to share your insights. You haven't been posting in the men's forum from Donetsk recently by any chance? Anyway, I'm very happy for you and wish you all the best with your newly found Ukranian love!
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Klava
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5/10/2007 1:55:48 AM
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Bounty
Спасибо за Ваш комплимент....u tebya net problem s tvoim angliiskim... :-)
У меня вообще нет проблем. Я живу в замечательной стране, здесь не принято учить кого-либо или навязывать свое мнение.
"pisal Genuine syuda ne zatem chtob ot tebya notatsiyu polucit', a chtoby predlozhit' svoe mnenie, tem komu nuzhen sovet".
Он высказал свое мнение,а я высказала свое, как и Вы, уважаемая... На то и форум.
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Bounty
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5/10/2007 7:37:52 AM
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Klava,
Прости, не смогла удержаться, шлея под хвост попала:))) ПМС наверно. Но ты права, это наши мнения и на то он и форум. И я никому своё тоже не навязывала.
Даже транслитом почему-то написала:)) наверное, чтоб никто переводчиком не воспользовался и не прочитал мое тебе послание.
Удачи!!!
P.S. Ничего, что я на ты?
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Klava
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5/10/2007 12:17:58 PM
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:-)
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Genuine
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5/11/2007 2:45:32 AM
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"You haven't been posting in the men's forum from Donetsk recently by any chance? "
No... :)
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Lux
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5/21/2007 2:38:52 AM
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Back to Genuine's initial post.
Like Genuine, I am an American man; and, like Genuine, the last time I posted in the ladies' forum was a very long time ago...2 years for me (Мне нравится русский, нo y меня очень плохо с русским. Мне нужно практиковаться в русском, так если вы имеете Skype, коснитесь с мной на brotherofjoshua).
I do not know what Bounty said to Klava, but as for me, I am in perfect agreement with Klava, regarding the "looking in the same direction, and not into each other's eyes." After all, looking into each other’s eyes leads to nowhere; but when you are looking in the same direction, you are free to move together to a better place.
For men, after a certain age (probably 30), they feel as though something is missing if they have not yet married. So, the "for men success means 'to have' or 'to can," makes sense.
No matter whether a man wants to "have a wife" or a woman wants to "feel an emotion," both men and women call it “marriage.”
Men would like women to think more practically, and women would like men to feel more regularly.
To a man's eyes, women's constant searching for this blissful, addictive feeling, may seem as repellent as a man's constant search for new acquisitions.
(In America, I see very little of the "falling in love with 'falling in love'" in women my age (I am 25); compared to FSU women (I have not been outside USA. I have read enough profiles of FSU women and USA women to discriminate between the two. Any man who has seen a dozen of both USA ladies’ profiles and FSU ladies’ profiles will easily be able to catalogue either, without knowing the hemisphere in which the girl lives). Of course, in younger girls, age 15-19, I see this.
However, I cannot safely say that the FSU women with whom I have corresponded are a representative sample of the entire FSU woman population. And yet, my data pool of at least a hundred FSU women is sufficient, assuming the sample were representative. The only ones I have communicated with on a semi-deep level are those who signed onto a personals site.
I find Genuine’s observations disconcerting. But it would follow their culture. I want a woman who knows exactly what she wants. I also want a women who wants me exactly how I am. The latter is far more important than the former. Consider Ukrainian culture. I am not telling any secret when I say that American men flock to FSU because FSU men have a “bad reputation” as husbands. Whatever they may be good at, being a desirable husband is not it (for any of you FSU men in this forum who are excellent husbands, I apologize for frankly stating the obvious). In consideration, then, of the culture in which these ladies live and move, perhaps they are more prone to stating their preferences in the negative, for instance, “I want a man who does NOT drink, who does NOT assault his wife, who does NOT betray his wife, etc.” In USA, women are put on a such a pedestal, and have 90% of the advantages in dating protocol, these days, that they have fine-tuned feelers to determine what they want. They can say, “I want a man who likes caribbean dance parties. If you don’t have a tattoo, do not message me, I don’t care how awesome you are…” Most can go on for hours, maybe because they’ve had a lot of good and bad experiences.
I am planning my life around this notion of marrying an FSU lady. I am keenly aware of the problem and pitfalls of inter-cultural marriage. I only hope that, when I do find her, my mastery of her language (Russian) will help break through the cultural barrier and mitigate the problems inherent in inter-ethnic marriage.
My fiance.com name is Daisycrazy
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Genuine
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5/27/2007 1:08:13 AM
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Thank you for the observation, Klava. Don't worry, I am well aware of the truth of what you said.
Thanks for the input, Lux. It is true that 90% of the FSU ladies I have met personally are very discriminating and hardly desperate. The ones who were desperate left me desperate to depart their presence.
You have a natural advantage over me. You are 22 years younger than I. From what I have seen, FSU ladies will value an older guy but will favor a younger guy who knows what the ladies are looking for. If I was, say, 30 and knew what I know now, I'd be some kind of unstoppable machine!
But who needs that. All I want is my one Ukrainian lady. If I can get her, I will be very fortunate, pleased and happy!
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creamontop
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6/18/2007 4:28:53 PM
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Lux wrote :
Any man who has seen a dozen of both USA ladies’ profiles and FSU ladies’ profiles will easily be able to catalogue either, without knowing the hemisphere in which the girl lives). Of course, in younger girls, age 15-19, I see this.
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I must disapoint you Lux. You are not aware how big Ukraina and Russia changed the last few years.
With the entry of your blatant American society and market structures in the FSU, you will also find a lot of similarities to US woman nowadays in the FSU - countries.
(especially in the "younger" generations) which are more "vulnerable" towards deception and degration due to Media and US corporate standardisations. ;-)
for example :
in 2000 an UA lady or a Russian lady would make NO problem to marry - date a man 15 years older to herself. Today is a total different story !
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creamontop
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6/18/2007 4:33:39 PM
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Genuine, you are a joke. When you believe today you will find yourself a real woman wanting to live with you below the age of 40... keep on dreaming.
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creamontop
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6/18/2007 4:34:49 PM
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Yes, maybe you will find yourself someone similar to what woman find in men like Donald Trump. (in the case you have the same 'wealth') Today such behaviour and attitude counts also for FSU woman. Keep this in your mind !
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Genuine
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7/6/2007 12:55:03 AM
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We will see who the joke is on now, won't we??
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sherry
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5/7/2008 5:46:02 AM
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Hello Tim,
I´m writing to you from Germany. I study many forums to inform myself. Yours is an interesting issue as you appear to have problems understanding the "culture" of Russian ladies and what they are searching for in a man. Most Russian ladies do not like their own male counterparts and would be happy for a European or American male to offer them something totally the opposite to their own men. They want to be treated like ladies with respect and they in turn will give you a lot of affection and good companionship.
You must just be open to experiences and try not to concentrate on only one market area. We do have Europe and other lovely countries of the world where there are ladies of quality seeking a suitable match.
Sherry
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